Desire for recognition-1☆承認欲求-1

Hi, this is Shire. Thank you very much for coming to my room again♫

As I wrote about this topic in several occasions, I used to have the really, desperately strong desire for recognition.

My dream was to become a famous musician who would tour all over the world and the people would love to listen & watch my performance all the time. I was dreaming to live & travel in a tour bus, play my original & emotional music people would cry for, perform in front of thousands of people. Not just dreaming only, I did work extremely hard to make to it, of course.

My dream/desire was almost shamefully honest as a human. Many people probably have some levels of such a desire, but it may be not as obvious as I used to dream of.

Now, I do not have any piece of such desire. I actually would rather be an ordinary person than someone who gets so much attention. How come I dropped such an obsession for recognition? Why?

I wondered for a while and asked some questions to Shamballa.

[continue to Part 2]

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こんにちは、シャイアです。今日も私のお部屋にお越し頂きましてありがとうございます♪

さて承認欲求について。このネタでは幾度か書いてきた事がありますが、音楽活動を必死でやっていた頃の自分は、承認欲求(プラス自己顕示欲)の塊でした🍃

ロックスター✨とか有名ミュージシャンになって、世界中をツアーで巡りたい。自分の言葉が通じないような場所でも、自分の音楽を聞いて感動してくれる人々がいる、そして自分の演奏に熱狂してくれる・・・そんな特大妄想を(正直シャンバラ妄想以上に具体的にw)毎日思い浮かべては、まぁ〜〜本気で頑張っていましたです。

我ながらこっぱずかしい程、どストレートな承認欲求ですね。ここまで開けっ広げではなくとも、まぁ誰しも何かしら認められたいと願うのは本能的な願望だと思っています。

それが現在は、我ながら異次元wにでも来たかのようにまるっきり!!その手の欲がありません。願わくばこのまま市井のスミーッこでノンビリ庶民ライフを楽しみたい♨️と御隠居状態です。一体どこで何が自分に起こったのか。

音楽活動にブレーキをかけ始めた頃、承認欲求もボロンボロン剥がれ落ちていくのを自覚しながら「どういう事?!」と散々考えた挙句、シャンバラに質問した事があります。

[パート2へ続きます]

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