Locked up Feeling☆閉塞感

Hi, this is Shire. Thank you very much for coming to my room again♫

I go to Japan about once a year since I moved to the US to visit my parents and friends. I used to get really excited to go there to see my friends, visit some beautiful places (such as temples, shrines and hot springs), have a great food and find their really innovative & beautiful goods.

However, I started feeling I would like to be back to the US as soon as I arrived in Japan before I even noticed. I got sick by the foods (with MSG may be?)  last 3 or 4 visits (could be more). I no longer got so attracted to their cute but cheap goods.

Instead, I kinda felt the place would be a sort of locked-up space where people would have no idea how to get out or never think of any other options. It made me feel like I was in a zoo where locked-up animals only moved in the tiny space without hope.

I really hate to describe my country (where I was born) in this way, but I remember I had such a locked-up feeling even when I lived there. It was from my parents, school and the society itself. My parents are actually a little different from many other typical parents in Japan who let me choose my way at least (That’s why I am here in the present day). But, they also had the fixed (could be a brain-washed by the society) mind to control their children such as “Children should obey the parents” “Children must study hard” “Children must go to school” — The mind which never allow “options.”

I talked about my perfectionism before, and I think the society of Japan might have tried to make the people be “perfect citizens” means “perfect slave minded people.”

I always felt that I was controlled, bound by unseen/tacit rules which made me feel really bad and have a guilt feeling even when I was sick and took a day-off from the school. Anything, no matter how important and right to ME, against the tacit rules of society made me feel really bad. I’m sure many of them in Japan still feel the similar way.

Yesterday, I happened to read a Japanese comic which describes a love relationship in the present days. The main characters are ordinary Japanese people who work a regular job and have a little overprotective parents. I felt some sort of locked-up feelings as soon as I started reading it. It was just a fictional story, but I could even see their future by the fixed & limited ideas for the life. They don’t even come up to the idea that they can have many more choices.

I guess people in Japan have never educated to think options and sideways (especially unique, different ones) so that they limit themselves to choose something within the narrow ideas (based on the customs). If I were in Japan without moving to the US, I would probably choose one of such narrow options without thinking there would even some other options in my life.

It’s hard to even imagine “happy dreamy future” there. I think many people there have the stress without admitting which creates the locked-up feeling in the entire country. What do “I” really want?! — People there really don’t know.

In these days, people can access SNS & world news to see different views/ideas. I think this is a good way to start finding own sense & own ideas by touching other people’s ideas (even radical ones, lol). Then, discussing with people in Shamballa can be an interesting option as well. They live in definitely way more advanced society (kinda future people) so that we can get even more options to think of our lives and the society.

I hope my friends in Japan will live happily with the own ideas.












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