Hi, this is Shire. Thank you very much for coming to my room again♫

Some of you may know that self esteem (self confidence) among young people in Japan is extremely low. For example, only less than 10% of Japanese girls feel confident in the way they look. Child suicide rate is pretty high there as well (Please see this article).

If you ever praise them such as “Oh, your English is pretty good,” 90+% of them probably reply bashflly as “Oh, no, no! I’m not good at it at all!!” Well, I still do this action sometimes…LOL. Japanese people are not comfortable with being praised since they did not grow up with such situations/words unfortunately.

I was also one of such children who was not confident in myself at all when I was in Japan. Adults, including parents and teachers hardly ever praise their children (That seems to be the tradition that they believe children need hardship and discipline in order to achieve the highest goal). They always request better and more so that children never feel accomplished anything which later become “perfectionists” which I was a typical example.

I was a good student who always got great scores at the primary, junior-high and high-school in Japan. My overall score was once the second best among more than 300 students at my junior-high, but I really didn’t feel extra good at all and never heard any praising words from my parents either. I thought that was just an insignificant matter. If I had a child who did got such a score, I would probably give him/her an extra big hug/kiss and might even have a party in the evening… well, I am really wondering now whether or not my parents were happy by their child’s accomplishment. I think they love me but I kinda feel they do in their certain condition, not so called “unconditional”… or they might also be the victims of such Japanese “can’t praise their own children” tradition, hmmm.

Anyways, I was always worried how other people would look at/think of me as well so that I did compare my clothes, behavior, attitudes to other students all the time. I assume that is still how Japanese people (especially young people) do normally act there. People always compare each other and do not really have self-confidence. Well, there is no place to learn how to become confident. How can they ever be anyways?

So, I was really really surprised when I moved to the US where everyone seemed pretty confident in oneself.

[continue to part 2]










Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: