Hi, this is Shire. I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Part 1 is here.
Part 2 is here.

I sometimes had a hard time living in NY especially in the beginning (probably a couple of years since I moved there). I could not speak/understand English (the NY English, you know) well, I could not adjust the living styles, people’s attitudes, even some really small differences made me feel really depressed. When I got really depressed, I often went to the Central Park and just walked around to touch the nature there.

One day, I just came up with the feeling of “I wanna go home” while looking at the lake there. But then, I got confused because… yes, I did not come up with any “home” -ish vision whatsoever. Home? where is that?? Of course I had tried to think of my hometown in Japan, but it did not fit to my feelings at all. Wait a minute, where is my home I am longing for?!

Suddenly, the sunlight in the twilight became shining on the lake. The light did bring back my memory….

It was a long time ago when I was about 7 or 8 years old, I saw a really beautiful sunset on an Autumn day in Japan. It was a rare opportunity to see such a gorgeous sunset there at that time since I would imagine there were many factories at that time which were not strictly regulated with the pollution so that the sky was much more smokey.

I was stunned by the overwhelming beauty, and my eyes filled with tears without noticing. Then, this phrase came up to my mind “I want to go home”…. wait, home? What am I thinking about? I have my home here in Japan with my parents!

When I was little, I often had the feeling what I was seeing & experiencing were not real, and I should have the “real” life somewhere else. I had the uncomfortable, misplaced-type of feelings for a long time. As I said before, I had great parents and good childhood life in Japan so that there was no reason for me to think/feel such a rather negative emotions.

In any case, I’ve known the feeling of nostalgia since I was little. I just didn’t know where that was coming from. This nostalgia kept going for a long time (especially during Fall season) even after I moved to the US until a few years ago.

I expected to find out about this issue when I started accessing Shamballa.

[continue to part 4]














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