Diary · physical body

Do what your heart calls.

Hi, this is Shire. I hope you all feel warm and cozy even how cold and rough your outside world can be.

I used to be more like a “perfectionist” for whatever I was trying to do. Let’s say, writing a blog… I have been writing “blog” (different format & provider, but they were all blogs) for about 12 years. Most of those times, I was always feeling nervous if I missed a post for the day. I mean I felt guilty not writing a post on that day. Yes, I tried to post, schedule posting almost everyday constantly and made it almost as a ritual or a everyday custom like a brushing teeth.

Then one day, I got confused whether or not I actually liked it. I thought I liked writing blogs, but it became a mental burden which has threatened me if I missed posting anything.

Not just blogs, but whatever I have tried to do made me feel like it became an absolute everyday task I must finish today. The best example would be my music practice. Musicians and athletes can totally relate to this feeling that the routine practice starts threatening you everyday especially if you have not finished yet. Many professionals have to be perfectionists in order to become a professional anyways.

So, I stopped feeling guilty about not writing blogs, not finishing my tasks for the day. Why do I have to feel guilty about the things not to kill me?! Who am I feeling threatened for?! If I don’t feel like doing it, then DO NOT DO IT, period.

On the other hand, I have noticed that things “I like, I enjoy” are continuously going without threatening myself… like “making my own lunch” which I have not missed a day yet since I started doing it in February, 2017.

Bento box
[Image is borrowed from FreeFoodPhotos]

I thought that could be a burden (since it is a everyday task), but it does keep me going up to now. I actually had a time I got a little tired of doing it, but I’ve really had fun changing menus and ideas which just let me keep forgetting the burden-ish part. It really surprises me since I thought I was not the kind of person (hmmm, “kind” means probably more a house wife/mom type??).

So, if you have something makes you feel happy & fun, you can absolutely tell by how sincerely you keep doing it. I guess people are made to do what they really like to do which make them feel happy and want to keep going HEALTHILY.

What? how about accessing Shamballa? Well, that is definitely fun 🙂 I can find “different” myself there which I (in the physical world) just realized that it is adoptable (to your physical body).

I hope you all do what your heart calls….

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